Giving and receiving are expressions of our humanity; they are a demonstration of the “art” of living. From my perspective, the ideal balance between them is an art that none of us can master, but it is a practice from which we can all learn and benefit.
Deepak Chopra’s Law of Giving and Receiving can be described as a constant flow and exchange of universal energy, in which one can amplify the possibility of getting anything we want, if we give it to others first. Read literally, this sounds a bit selfish to me in the sense that I would have an ulterior motive in giving that very thing that I want, meaning that I am really giving with the expectation of receiving it back; there is an egocentric interest behind the action. On the other hand, I acknowledge that this is also difficult to do, because it requires that we give something we are lacking, and therefore this requires putting an effort to be mindful and intentional with our actions towards others…although showing good intention does not exclude self-interest.
The law of giving is very simple:
If you want joy, give joy.
If love is what you seek, offer love.
If you crave material affluence, help others become prosperous.
Deepak Chopra
In the spirit of giving as the only intention, without expecting anything in return I have donated blood, my hair, my time –volunteering, and provided monetary contributions to different charities. I am also an organ donor, so hopefully many will benefit from this when I am gone. That said, I live in a country that ranks 6th among “the 10 most generous countries”, according to the World Giving Index, so giving is somehow ingrained in our culture, and in a way it is an expression of gratitude for living in a place that respects multiculturalism, cares for its ecological diversity, has a developed economy full of opportunities, and where people are famously polite.
Do not get me wrong, though, not all developed countries, and its citizens are necessarily generous.
I wish that for us-humans “giving” were a natural, standard behaviour, triggered not by our expectations or hidden agendas, but for the only purpose of expressing our humanity.
But the idea that we are capable of giving selflessly is not far-fetched; there are stories every day of remarkable humans around the world doing extraordinary things for others. The most inspiring stories –some of my favourite ones– are based on kindness and gratitude, vs selfish expectations or egocentric demands. Examples of empathetic people who jump at the opportunity to help others are found all over: customers fundraising to send a coffee shop’s employee back to school, living organ donors who change another person’s life, “pay-it-forward” programs impacting people countries apart, a teenager with learning and physical difficulties carrying out random acts of kindness.
We may think that since giving selflessly seems to be rare (and why it is news-worthy), receiving comes more natural to us? Well, think again; receiving in itself is also an art.
In receiving, understood as accepting, getting or be given something, some people may feel undeserving, others may feel entitled to what they have, and many of us just take things for granted. Being able to receive requires a measure of humbleness, a sense of gratitude and a big-picture frame of mind.
Life has a way of reminding us the importance of being humble in matters related to health. When we feel the fragility of our physical body and mind, those are times when we need to reach out for help, when we need support. Sometimes neither all the money in the world, nor social or economic status are able to give us our health back.
Understanding the commonality of our humanness, that no human is better than another, or being conscious of one’s defects and shortcomings, and putting others at the forefront of our thoughts are abilities difficult to carry out in a society limited by social structures, such as family, religion, and socioeconomic stratification. We are shaped by the environment in which we are raised, and by our life experiences; these can either teach us how to survive in the absence of resources, or can give us a sense of entitlement from material possessions, from resources, cast or rank, and can also sustain our ignorance of others’ lives, valuing the status quo, or worse, assuming that change (including tragedy, loss) does not impact us.
The benefits of gratitude towards our mental, physical and social health have been proven by science. Heartedly appreciating what we have, and the value that it brings to our lives can translate into more positive outcomes for us and for the society.
The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.
David Steindl-Rast
Practicing gratitude also broadens our view of the inherent social connection and dependency of all human beings, and it makes us aware of our own humanity, while giving greater significance to the gifts that life gives us, from our ability to breathe and enjoy our surrounding world, to the opportunities we have for sharing our time, our wealth (social, cultural, financial…) with others.
All in all, the art of giving and receiving is in continuous dynamic, and we must put them into practice if we want to live more-fulfilling lives. While many give all they have and are reluctant to receive, others are used to only receive and their entire lives rely on taking advantage of others; but most of us are somewhere in between, each having a tendency towards one or another. We need to be mindful of this, and maintain a healthy balance between the two, being aware of the quality of the energy (positive or negative) that we end up circulating around us, around the world.
Where do you stand? …are you mostly a giver or a receiver, and what will you do to increase your balance?
CAPER
